g e o r g i a ♥

Through the Glass Window

2011-12-22T12:41:00.002+08:00

So... remember that story I said I would write based on my dream? Here it is. Below. LOOK DOWN. (Wrote this a long time ago, but read it anyway!)

***

This is the fifth consecutive time this week the girl has waved at me at she passes by. She must mock me for sitting up here while she roams freely. But somehow she had found the exact time that I'd look down to the lobby, and every time she looked up, she smiled. I don't think that's mockery, is it?

She has a beautiful smile. I can't see clearly from up here, of course, so I'm probably imagining it all, but her enthusiastic wave brightens up my day. The first time this happened I was rocking my chair back and forth like an executive who would like people to think that he's thinking of something that would help the company's growth and expansion would be rocking his chair. Basically I was bullshitting my way through a busy day of work.

I looked down the glass window that separates my cold, aloof and unfeeling office from the rest of the world to see a little blob of red passing by. It was as if she could feel my gaze, because she looked right up at me, and gave me a little wave.

It must have been not so little because I could see it here on the 35th floor, where it seemed minuscule. Many things seem minuscule when you're high up.

At first I thought that she might be a little off up there, if you know what I mean. But I think I'm starting to look forward to the time she looks up, and our eyes meet. Or rather, when our line of vision collides.

It's like when I see her I feel a rare connection that I don't normally feel with people. Usually the only connection I make is with my phone, and my secretary. I rarely have to meet with anyone else, other than my boss every other week when he sets me off on a new assignment, and the clients? Well, frankly I don't see them as connections. They matter, of course, sure they do. But only to my pocket.

I gave her a little wave back, but it was so small I doubt she'd seen it that first time. It's not everyday someone decides to be just a little friendly to someone you don't know. I didn't even know her. This crazy woman, for all I knew, was waving to a perfect stranger. I think I have the right to be just a little bit frenetic by it.

Today I saw her again. It was around 1:20pm. Lunch break was over, and I was settling into the massive amount of work I have to deal with each day.

But as soon as the clock on my desk struck 1:23, I looked down and there she was, like she was there every day since that day.

She looked up, and saw the little speck of me, blatantly waiting for her wave, so she did. She was wearing green today, that I could see. It gave her a Christmas-like feeling.

I waved back, a big, sweeping one this time, stretching from one end of my waist to the other. She paused a little, then went her way.

I've wondered about her name. Her age. Her ID. But I have no way of contacting her. Unless... I wait it out for her tomorrow.

Sober in Life

2011-12-18T02:43:00.001+08:00

Yesterday (or just a few hours ago) was interesting because I got to know Joycelyn better and I also learnt a lot of things...

Of which if I told you would be too long for me to write at the moment because I'm dead beat.

Clubbing's still not my thing though. Gives me a headache and my heart will start pumping like a thousand miles per second.

I guess, as a writer, it was interesting to see how people partied and reacted to different things. And drank. A lot. ( or at least I think people do.) Right?

Drinking makes me sick though. Even just a little. (Like seriously VERY LITTLE.) But I still took loads of photos and videos. #pro *self praise*

I learnt something really important, and that is to laugh about the things that make you wanna cry. It helps to be self-effacing, not self-defeating.

A short post... Because I was reminded (by Joycelyn saying that she blogs and to check her blog out lol) that I used to blog a lot but now I don't really have anything much to say. (Or if I do, it's too personal to go on here so it goes in my diary instead.)

And I miss it. Sharing my thoughts with the world of strangers that makes up the internet.

I'm tired and a little woozy (can I haz day off in lieu please, Boss?) but I'm glad that I got to know more about someone.

We INFJs are ever curious about other people. :D So much so that we're mistaken for extroverts.

You know, I asked my guy friends why is it that my friends seem to like each other (in that way) but I'm somehow not liked by anyone in my three years. They say it's because people look upon me as their little sister who they have a need to protect. That I'm like that. And that there would be someone who could go past that. When? Who knows.

I think they're trying to console me somehow.

On one hand I'm glad that I'm not caught up in their sticky, tangled webs. On the other hand, I'm like... "Is there something wrong with me?"

Seph told me recently (about me), "You can never be loved enough because you love so much." So sometimes I close myself up. To recharge.

Hopefully I'll find that someone who I'll be loved more than enough. I like to be protected. I like to be safe. But sometimes, like yesterday, I'll have to venture out of my comfort zone just a little. Because maybe if I'm more willing to take risks, I'll find the one I'm looking for.

(And finish that book of mine and send it out.)

Not saying anything

2011-12-14T08:14:00.000+08:00

Hello.

I haven't said hi for so long... this is quite strange.

Christmas is coming. Next Sunday. *makes small talk*

I have 9 weeks of internship left. Interning in school. (Long story.)

It's strange how I used to be able to say everything on this blog, but nowadays I'm just like, "Lalala long story." Or like, "Hahaha not even gonna say anything."

Anyway, blog. You've been with me for the longest time. You know me best. Tell me, am I going to make something of myself? What do you think? (Yes I know I might sound a little off centre talking to an online presence as if it could talk back.)

I gotta go, blog. Till next time? I'm thinking of starting a vlog.

Don't Really Use Blogger Anymore...

2011-05-15T23:38:00.001+08:00

I don't know why.

Maybe because I created a slew of websites with my name on it. So I can't have my undivided attention on this. :P (I realised this when I was adding the websites to my FB page. Gosh I have a lot of sites I leave my mark on. :O)

Actually, it's more likely that it's because I had nothing much to blog about (my personal life). Because everything seems so mundane. Other than the fact I'm writing a book. That seems to go nowhere.

And how I keep finding out more and more authors who're getting published, and wishing that it's me in their shoes. (As in, one pair at a time. Imagine wearing a gazillion shoes at the same time! I'd be super tall.)

Also, the 'Enter' key hates me. It doesn't move properly until I click on the 'Edit HTML' and click back to 'Compose'.

Hmm.

So because nothing is really happening, I'm not really writing.

Then should I just 'unlist' this blog? It's no use keeping something if it's not updated.

But then, I'd like to blog more. About what... I really don't know. But at least I'd like to keep some record of my life. I don't really write in my diary anymore either.

And that's kinda sad.

I'd leave you with something I scribbled a few weeks ago...

My nose was buried deep into my newest obsession. Deeper and deeper into the love story I went, as I fantasied being in the protagonist's shoes, seeing what she saw, hearing what she heard, and feeling the slightest tinge of his lips on mine. Living out what can't happen in real life.

The smallest smile and the fleeting touch was all it took for me to fall in love with what wasn't real. I read book after book, all of them stories about undying love. My imagination was ripe, and it was taking me to places I normally wouldn't go. The perfect love story... I wondered when it would happen to me.

It's actually longer than 2 paragraphs, but if I post more I feel like I'm revealing all my secrets to the word. Even though technically this piece of writing is fiction.

I'm going to write a short story, and join the Golden Point Award thing. Hope I win something! It'll be good for my portfolio. Ha.

Okay.... I'll be back next time. With more to say. ♥♥♥

Promise.

Yale NUS

2011-04-11T22:29:00.000+08:00

http://www.ync.nus.edu.sg/index.html

I really hope that this is where I can go after I graduate from DTVM. An education like that really appeals to me, because you get to learn about anything and everything for 2 years, then choose a major.

Only 150 students for admission in the first year the college opens though...

I don't know if I'll be able to make it.

But I'll trust in God. Whatever he wants me to study (or not), I'll do it. Here's hoping I can.

The Wig is Killing Me.

2011-03-14T19:08:00.000+08:00

I'm actually surprised I'm not dead yet.

Yesterday I dreamt (yes, me and my dreams. Whatever.) about my wig and it was soooooooooo smooth and it listened to me and I braided it.

But in real life?

That's not happening.

So the life and death of my Rapunzel cosplay is depending on my wig.

I have to say that even if I don't get to do this in the end, I'll still have the wig to live out my fantasies! (Hey. Don't think dirty.) And I'll probably get the artbook. (Which I STILL. HAVEN'T. GOT. Never had the chance to visit Basheer. Dang.) It doesn't mean my fanage to this dies. 'Cause it doesn't.

Sigh. Stupid wig.

My Dream

2011-03-13T14:21:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I was rudely awakened by the pain that was in my abdominal area... I think. But that's not the point. I had a nice dream. (What I could remember of it was nice anyway.)

My Dream:
I (or this girl, but for the sake of continuity let's just say 'I') was in this tower-like office building kind of structure. It was a cylinder, and I would go there everyday. Every day, there would be a guy at around level 35, who's lonely, who would look down just as I look up, and I would wave to him and give him a friendly smile.

At first he thought it was strange, but he slowly warmed up and smiled right back at me. It was nice. End of Dream.

Hmm I feel like expanding this into a story... I think I will. Maybe. Probably.

Love

2011-02-16T22:20:00.026+08:00

Love - Hebe

我愛你你愛她
她愛她她愛他

你愛我我愛他
他愛他他愛她

咦

怎麼這世界已經沒有人相愛
怎麼這世界每個人都不快樂
怎麼這世界每個人都愛別人不愛自己

Do you stop living for just for someone? (Hint: No.)

My heart is ready and willing to let it pass. It has been for quite some time now. Once it passes, my happily ever after would come. Right?

My view on love is still very naive. I still believe in fairy tales. I believe in happily ever after.

It's not the best thing to believe in, because the world does not function this way. Well, except for God's unconditional love for us.

But maybe because of that belief, I locked myself up. Like Rapunzel, I'm only able to look on as things happen around me, as others fall in and out of love, but nothing happens to myself.

Unlike Rapunzel, I don't have 70 feet of long hair. I won't have people climbing up the tower because there's no way up.

I locked myself in the tower, as if I'm in a glass sphere with no visible way out. The only way out is the break the glass, break that perception, but I'd like to live in the fairy tale world just a little longer. There everything is safe. It's planned, nothing goes wrong, even the bad guys have their day, and everyone has love.

At least, in my version it's like that. In a fairy tale you find a perfect guy. In the real world, you find your perfect guy - one whose imperfections makes him perfect for you. In my world, you find a blank spot.

No one's there. And I don't know if anyone will be. God, I wish someone would be there. Fill up that space.

I need to start living. Properly.

My mind's in a mess. My heart's in a mess. I can sort it out, but five seconds later it gets tangled again. I need to know how to untangle it - permanently.

I still believe in destiny, that you and I were meant to be. - What's this song again? I'm too lazy to go Google it.

Happy belated Valentines. <3

A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain.
Abraham Cowley

Pictures all found from futuregirl88.tumblr.com.

Love, G.

Write write write write is EVIL.

2011-01-20T12:29:00.000+08:00

I'm writing and contemplating that I cannot writeeeeeeeeeeee ANY MORE. EEEEK!

That's all I have to say.

Here's a peek [:D] :

To the people who live in the time to come:
I do not know what to ink on the parchment before me, because what I write will influence those whom I do not personally know, but whom I already hold dear, generations after I am long gone.

My New Year Resolution(s)

2011-01-01T00:14:00.000+08:00

This things never really do work for me.

But I can't help but set at least ONE resolution for myself.

1) Saving Greywind
2) That Fairy Tale Story with no real concrete title.
3) Something Else I'm working on.

BE DONE BY 31 DECEMBER 2011, 11:59!, One of the Three!

:D

And...

Trust in God always. <3

Mothel Gothel is love. SPOILERS... maybe? [RAPUNZEL: A TANGLED TALE]

2010-12-02T22:58:00.004+08:00

EDIT: Okay I take everything back. After watching it again, I have to say: I am in love.

Before everything: THIS IS NOT A REVIEW. I'm just... saying whatever's in my head.

ALSO. I OBVIOUSLY DON'T OWN DISNEY and therefore everything Disney (aka pictures) belongs to them and their respective animators.

Ahhh the song. The song. THE SONG. *melts* Flowers in her hair. *SPOILER* Almost Kiss Moment.

Today I got to see Rapunzel: A Tangled Tale (Or Tangled in the USA)... though now I'm thinking I really should have seen it in 3D first.

I don't know if it's just me (it probably is) but I was disappointed by the movie. Don't get me wrong, I love love love Rapunzel, it's just... maybe I'm no longer the age, or maybe I can't relate to dear Rapunzel.
(Oh wait. I can. Scratch that.)

The point is, if I were to give it points over 100, I'll probably give it 70 (EDIT: 80!!!). And that's because I'm being nice.

It's not that I don't like Rapunzel.. it's that something was missing from it... and I can't even identify that something. (I think probably it's because I spoiled myself too much by playing the trailers OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Also... *SPOILER* where's the 'let down your - ' *gets crushed by Rapunzel's hair* scene?)

But the good thing about this movie? I'm totally in love with how bipolar Rapunzel is dealing with her guilt and how she's so bubbly and running around like some kid. (Probably because she is still a kid... at heart. [18 isn't very old, you know.])

I think I need to see the movie in 3D to really appreciate the beauty of the *SPOILER* lanterns.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I build up so much in my head, but I got let down by it. That doesn't make the movie any less beautiful or the story any less interesting or the characters any less appealing, but it does make me feel... like when I read a Harry Potter Book and I'm not satisfied with the movie version of it.

I'm happy to say that I DID cry in the movie, so that redeems the whole 'I'm disappointed' thing because... well, because tears were shed! This means I ACTUALLY FEEL FOR THE CHARACTERS (or maybe it's because of the line he said to her. I'm not going to spoiler you by saying it here, but it was beautiful).

Of course, Pascal darling is my absolute favourite.


SPOILER HE SAVES THE DAY. HOW COOL IS THAT. BY TRIPPING MOTHER GOTHEL.

I felt sad that Mother Gothel *SPOILER* died.
And in that way too! *SPOILER* Her death isn't really explained, but I guess it's because she's like *SPOILER* 200 years old! And therefore... when Rapunzel's hair is cut off... WHAT? Okay I don't get it. Maybe the hair takes away her youth thereby disintegrating Gothel because she was holding on tightly to the hair that turned brown.

Ah whatever.

Man this post is long and windy. Long and windy. Hmm. Long-winded.

Oh, if you haven't helped fufilled my dream yet, please refer to my previous post here and click on the link below, and like the picture for me!!!!!!

http://www.magicalhair.com.sg/participant_details.php?id=76

Because I'm going to cosplay my favourite Disney Princess. Yes you heard that right.

This girl right here (ignore Pascal):

Is MY FAVOURTIE.

Lastly, I'd like to say:

Thanks Jared and Syafiq for watching Tangled with me! Lea and Ynex, I hope you'll enjoy it tomorrow! Luke, catch it soon!

Disney's Tangled / Rapunzel: A Tangled Tale Contest (Nuffnang)

2010-11-18T23:56:00.001+08:00

http://www.magicalhair.com.sg/participant_details.php?awesm=fbshare.me_AXGM8&id=76

Yes.

To shamelessly promote myself I am putting this right here.

So that you can fulfill a little girl's dream of having Rapunzel Merchandise in my house.

Why me? Because I am such an avid fan of Rapunzel, I am going to cosplay her.

See that 70 feet long-haired blonde beauty right there? Yep. That's me. Cosfest. 2011. MUAHAHA. In fact, because Rapunzel is so easy, I'm tempted to cos her like... 100000 more times. (Okay kidding. Not that many.)

All you have to do to fulfill that little girl's dream?

Click on

http://www.magicalhair.com.sg/participant_details.php?awesm=fbshare.me_AXGM8&id=76 

and click on the 'Like Button' on the Picture!

It's something like this:

See that gold star? Yes I'm referring to THAT LIKE BUTTON.

Click that and make the little girl inside me happy. :D TEE HEE.

Thank you very much. I've said my piece.

<3,
Georgia.

ARGH WRITER'S BLOCK

2010-11-12T20:15:00.001+08:00

I'm suffering from a serious case of 'writer's block'. You know NaNoWriMo?

Yep.

I. Am. Stuck.

And not just stuck, but so stuck I only have 397 words of absolute failure. Now, I know that 'All First Drafts are S***' (according to Ernest Hemingway) but I really don't know what to write.

It makes me question if I was cut out to be a writer in the first place.

Because that novel I wrote?

Well, it was written because it was a form of escapism.

And that is just sad.

Tangled - I see the light (HAHA I DID THIS IN CLASS WHOO)

2010-11-09T09:04:00.000+08:00

NANOWRIMO

2010-11-01T21:56:00.001+08:00

IT IS HERE.

The first day of NaNoWriMo.

AHHHHH.

(Yes I have accepted the challenge. I WILL DO IT. (Though 50000 words. In a Month. Is quite scary to think of.))

My Anizo Has Arrived!

2010-10-06T23:03:00.004+08:00

DISCLAIMER: This post is super random and long.

I am so excited to tell you guys that, I even put it as my title! <3

I stumbled upon Bing's Blog a few weeks ago, and I saw that she was using the Random Number Generator to do a little giveaway.

And Tomo, that's her little friend right below (Hope you don't mind that Tomo is making an appearance here, Bing!), had all his brothers and sisters called up because they needed a home!

So I decided, why not? Let's try my luck. And I won this pretty lady! :D

The poor girl was sealed in a pretty card that Bing signed and in a little tiny plastic zip lock. She's quite a diva, this one. See those eyelashes? She told me that she has to wake up earlier just to spend 20 mins on each eye.

This darling still has no name, and I have no idea where to put her. But just for tonight (maybe many nights after) she's sleeping on my bed with me, because she travelled all the way from Bing's home. Also because she's complaining of jet lag.

Ah well. Girls.

***

PS. I will continue this tomorrow because it's 11:02 AM and I want to sleep. But I'll let you see the photos first! (See? Preview eh.)

Tell you the story tomorrow.

EDIT: Continued.

Okay see this? The picture on top of my words? No, it's not my new shoes, and no I don't have a doll fetish and NO, I am not pregnant with an unborn child with huge feet.

It's my shoes~~~ (Okay I know I just said it's not my NEW shoes... but well... these shoes are pretty old.)

In fact, they were from when I was only 2 months old!

The best part is: they're 'Made in Italy'.

I went up to my mum and went, "Why did you buy me 'Made in Italy' shoes when I was 2 MONTHS old? I mean, you can soooooo give me expensive 'Made in Italy' shoes like NOW, when I can appreciate them."

She just smiled sheepishly. And then she went on to tell me about my expensive Kipling (you know, the bag with the monkey keychain) bag that she got for me when I was in Primary One.

Which I proceded to rust with my sweaty hands.

***

This is Lewis. Not L-O-U-I-S, but L-E-W-I-S. Like from 'Meet the Robinsons'.

My dad got him for my sis two years ago in China. He has a brand okay? Northface, Northpole... or something.

But that's not the point. The point is that he wanted to take a picture on my staircase, so there he is. :P

***

Okay below I will treat you to different coloured (clubbed) nails that belong to yours truly.

These colours costs $22 each and are from 'POP Beauty'. It's called Nail Glam, and I like the 'Grass' (aka turquoise) one best. You can get it at Sephora. It's really good and dries quickly.

No, I did not buy four colours. (I'm not crazy.) I just tested them out. Thinking of going back for my favourite colour though...

The funny thing is that the eyeshadow from this brand costs $16 and that's SO MUCH cheaper than the nail polish.

I guess you pay for quality.

***

For the past week, I've been slogging my heart out for my cousin's blogshop at Far East!

I got 2 shirts (see the blue SHINee one and the white SNSD one hanging from the pushcart) and one pair of Nickhun socks in return. Hee hee hee.

***

I just realised this post is super long and random. Shall put a disclaimer at the top.

No Easier Way

2010-09-27T12:39:00.000+08:00

Does this mean that every time I blog I have to go to this page:

http://developers.facebook.com/docs/reference/plugins/like

and put in the like button from FB? IS THERE NO EASIER WAY.

Look what I got!

2010-09-27T11:49:00.002+08:00

Pretty 'Vampire' Cat ala 'The Vampire Diaries', or even better, 'Dracula'. My aunt bought this for me. It has no name yet. :(

It's a girl, see how she's wearing pink and has pink paws and everything? :D

And... (OMGosh let me jump around in circles):

Xian Jian! A notebook with its name! OMGOSHOMGOSH AHHHHHHHHHH.

In case you didn't know, I've had a HUGE LOVE for the series since I was 13. I even got to play the game! (Sorta!) ANYTHING with XIANJIAN imprinted on it makes me go OMGOSH AHHH.

Hahaha. <3

I wanna be a rock star!

2010-09-22T12:06:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder what's it like to be, you know, be a star?

Like one of those people you see on the magazines and they have people following them around and they get to travel the world...

Okay, I'm more interested in the 'travel the world' part than anything else, really. Hahaha. (I'm jealous of Selena Gomez. So many countries! I also want. Go. Me. Want.)

But I don't think the life would suit me. I mean, sure, it'll be nice. All those red carpet events and Emmys (that's red carpet too... LOL), and er... I don't know what else.

Ah! And having money... no.

Having fans?

Anyway.

It wouldn't suit me because I want to be a writer. Sure I want to be a famous writer, and I would love it for my words to be translated into 265863863865 (random number) languages. (I don't think there's actually that many languages.)

And they'll be read all over the world, and I can make my living writing.

So while I dream of being a rock star, that dream will stay a dream. One that I'll visit in my sleep. Or write about. Whichever.

Speaking of writing, I didn't write a word yesterday. I cut down some words and... that was all. I better have my 6000 words by today. No more slacking, Georgia!

Georgia wants: a pair of bikini.

2010-09-21T08:53:00.000+08:00

Like, right now.

I need them now.

I need to swim now.

For example:

This is a nice bikini. (I also need to make my one piece uuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhh.)

SEE? I like.

Okay, random posting - done.

Back to writing. I need 6000 by today.

Music to my ears

2010-09-19T20:27:00.000+08:00

I'm getting this so that my dad and mum won't say that my phone died because I listen to too much music. (Why I'm not getting an iPod Touch? No $$$.)

I want to put 'Georgia is not a country.' But my sister insists that I would be caught by the Georgian Government and prosecuted and stuff.

Too bad it's not an iPod Touch.

I'd continue this with 'It's my name." And make it legal and all. :D

$78!!! Sighs. No $$$.

(Actually, I just need to save for... 2 more weeks! WAHAHA.)

Oops forgot a title. Universal Studios.

2010-09-18T18:58:00.005+08:00

I couldn't stop smiling to myself.

No, I didn't just get my book deal, nor am I in love.

All I did was step into Universal Studios Singapore (USS). (No pictures here. Sad story. Tell you later.)

And I love love love the New York part of the theme park. I want to live there. I don't want to leave. I will cling myself to a lamp post, or one of the lions at the library (? I think.).

With no pictures, what I got left from the whole experience is just the memories, Gingy in my stomach, and 2 charms from Far Far Away (which I gave my sister and my mum, because I wished I could bring them along, but can't. Ma I love you!). I now feel guilty because I really wanted them (esp my mum) to see USS in the night!

According to my mum, when I was 7 I went to Universal Studios in LA. I remember nothing from the trip, save ET. HAHAHA.

I had a nice piece of pizza at Lous' (AHA SPELLING) NY Pizza Parlor. It was huge for one slice and (sorta) free, since I had the $10 voucher that YOG so nicely gave us.

So I only had to pay 90 cents.

Now comes the sad part. My cousin, who came with me, lost his phone.

Now, the funny part is that he didn't lose it in the Mummy ride (which I didn't take, because Rollercoasters and I don't like each other since I was 7 (trip to US was way influential, eh?)).

He lost it in the Shrek 4D ride. I don't know how, because the jerking wasn't even very hard, but he did. And now he's really sad about it, because USS didn't contact us (or me), to tell us that his phone was found.

As I told him yesterday on the way home, 旧的不去新的不来。(Or, you know... the old must go before the new can come? Hahaha.)

The rest of the park was nice too, I jam packed the night with endless shows and rides that don't make my heart die.

And at the end of it all, I didn't want to leave. I wanted a potions bottle (that I now regret not buying earlier. So many regrets. What to do. I can only Keep Moving Forward).

I saw my coursemates and yeah. That's that.

Didn't go with them because I was very focused on seeing everything (and pulling my cousin along).

I didn't see Jia Yin! (Definitely would have pulled her along EVERYWHERE, with her friend coming along too. HEE HEE.)

There are still other stuff I really wanted to do that I didn't get to, because a) the rides weren't open yet (like the Penguin Crates thingy), or b) I missed the timing. ROARRRRR.

The next time I go there, I'm going to pay for my mum's ticket. :D Because I am awesome.

Okay. Dinner.

XOXO,
Georgia

(PS. This is all I got in video. (There's something else, but I can't show it hahaha.))

My coveted potions bottle looks like this: (ripped off of google, so thank you wherever this picture came from! http://ripdiet.livejournal.com/50157.html Apparently this person blogs that I could have gotten it at the Celebrity Cafe! :O ARGH. )

Go Me!

2010-08-28T19:04:00.000+08:00

Go me, indeed.

I have a bucketload (is that a word?) of work to do and I have not touched it, save for half done editing and 104 words on Mr Nobody, who succeeded in giving me the worst headache I've had, probably in a week.

But I'm not going to focus on the number of seemingly infinite problems I have (including my social annihilation... I think) because I have one thing to say to myself:

Keep Moving Forward.

Boy is Disney an inspiration. :)

So, no whining, no crying, just do my work. By the end of this week, I would like to be done with more than half of my work (and looking at the schedule, I would be).

By tomorrow, I better be done with my Philosophy paper... but I still can't wrap my head around Mr Nobody.

Mmm, dinner smells wonderful.

I 'heart' the little things.

18

2010-08-11T21:36:00.001+08:00

Sorry I haven't blogged in almost a month!

Well, what's changed is that I'm 18 now, and there are things I don't want to blog about.

So, I'll be here when I've something to say. (Or a book to write.)

G.

Meow!

2010-07-15T11:37:00.003+08:00

OMGosh I want this!!! It's selling at Action City. It is my motivation for saving money! I will save a dollar a day I swear!

(Hint hint: My birthday is coming. :D)

Yeah. My dad. Says. No.

D:

I also want this!

Sony Nex-3/Nex-5!

~~Okay I don't mind either.~~

Heh. Scratch that.

I like the red one but I like the NEX-5 better. :P

http://www.sony.com.sg/product/nex-5d

SEE $1299!!! For 2 lenses!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGosh!!!!!!!!

Serenade

2010-07-07T20:31:00.001+08:00

Serenade is <3. (Gotta improve on the costume for Photoshoot!)

Also, poses... Serenade only has like... 1 pose. O.o (Okay 2. 3.)

I think I did well... but the sleeves look a little weird to me, and the white part flips down (!) and my belt is irritating.

I miss you Serenade. Bogoshipoyo.

Keep moving forward

2010-06-22T23:50:00.001+08:00

I just love 'Meet the Robinsons'. This quote is my motto! Keep moving forward! *sings! Keep moving forward! :D

What I have been doing these days:

2010-06-22T23:39:00.001+08:00

1) Making Serenade's Shoes. (And other misc. stuff for her, money-sucking princess.)

2) Buying key... er... covers for my keys! In here, the black kitty (Anna's brother. :D) loves his strawberry milk. (Which is weird.) [$2 from Diaso, each!]

3) Scouting for Locations to shoot in. (Yay Filmgrade! I <3 FG!) (Though Cathay is still awesome with its $6 movie tickets.)

Other stuff I have been doing are deemed too 'D' for me to put in here and as Ms Gamar once said a long, long time ago, "Don't blog when you're 'D'!"

Note she didn't say 'D', she said the word that is represented by 'D'.

OW.

2010-06-09T15:44:00.001+08:00

I can't believe I fractured my toe. From over here it looks pretty bad (and swollen).

I gotta finish my... CP CA2. (Trying to expand my first question.)

Thanks for taking my stuff from me, Lea. I didn't say that you had to do it, but you are still taking my stuff from me, so thanks a bunch. :)

Silence

2010-05-30T14:05:00.000+08:00

I wonder how relationships happen.

Because they seem like magic to me.

Imagine if I weren't here at this moment in time... then I wouldn't have met so and so and we wouldn't be friends. (Same goes for BGR, I guess, but I wouldn't know.)

(I also don't get myself - I'm supposed to be doing work here.)

Okay that's it.

No korean music. My head sways.

Ahh. Piano is so much better. (I gotta learn how to play the Doureureu song. I think that'll take years for me, because of my non-existent piano playing skills.)

Ugh my nose.

I haven't been sick for so long, I kind of forgot how it felt.

But back to relationships, don't you think it's magical, the way you're closer to someone, but not as close to someone else?

Piano isn't working out either.

And my relationship with God? (Sighs.) Sorry Daddy.

I can't listen to love songs either.

Love songs are depressing.

In fact, I think Love is depressing. Because if you don't have it, you're lonely. And that's the depressing part. Of course it's rainbows and sunshine for those who have love... but to those who don't, it doesn't seem like the dark clouds are passing by anytime soon.

Oh, the sneeze.

How am I going to do this rebuttal thing?

I don't even know what to rebut.

Yuck. I hate this.

I hate my nose.

I hate the thing in my nose that's making my nose itchy.

I can't listen to inspirational music either.

You know what?

Silence.

There. Complete Silence.

Flea Fly Flu :(

2010-05-30T13:49:00.000+08:00

Dang. I think I'm down with the evil flu.

I can't stop sniffing. It's damn irritating.

It's so stuffy in my room, even though the windows are open. Ugh. I need a new room. I need a new house.

Gosh, even the fan is too far away to do anything.

Korean music is so not helping.

2010-05-30T13:33:00.002+08:00

I can't believe I'm so bored (or trying to put off my 1500 word portfolio for Etiquette GEMS, not to mention do the rebuttals which I have no idea how to do) that I'm looking at blogs that I haven't visited in a while.

I love Garry Marshall

2010-05-28T14:56:00.000+08:00

I just love his movies.

Georgia Rule!

Valentine's Day!

The Princess Diaries...

Pretty Woman...

<3<3<3

:D

2010-05-26T21:03:00.000+08:00

I watched my movie: The Last Song.

The little boy was good with his acting.

The rest of it... was disappointing. D:

All in all, I liked it.... because of the funny moments.

The Root of All of This:

2010-05-26T20:56:00.001+08:00

The internet.

Feminism is Dead

2010-05-26T00:58:00.001+08:00

No I don't think Feminism is dead.

And no, this post is not about feminism BEING dead (or alive).

It's about... getting that CA over!

I used loads of Singapore references... but I don't know if I can do really well for this CA. *crosses fingers and prays HARD

I love the fact that I went first though. Because there were only 9 out of the 22 of us (including me) so I didn't have loads of pressure.

But then again I didn't have much questions either.

So...

But I still like going first.

Then I can get it over and done with, and listen to my other classmates' presentation.

As oppose to, you know, worrying about your CA.

My life is centered around CAs at the moment.

It's kinda scary, really.

I have... CA, after CA, after CA.

Makes me miss First Year, First Sem. A lot.

I mean, first there's Gamar's. Then CPD. Then Scriptwriting for Drama and Sitcom. Then Philosophy, Psychology and Society. Then CPD again. (CA10 this time. But I love that Ms Wai Leng gave us a head start on this.) Then WMM (CA1). Then CP.

And the list goes ON and ON.

I haven't even counted GEMS.

I ~~want~~ need to watch a movie.

formspring.me

2010-05-23T02:01:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/georgiaho

Gotta fly away

2010-05-23T01:14:00.002+08:00

Trapped in my own skin
Just a shadow hanging
Feels like I'm not really in
Even after morning comes knocking

Got to fly away
Get a new perspective
Do things my way
Live life, not be selective

My future, undecided
Like I can't have a grip
Every second feels divided
But I don't slip

Some things fall from high above
For example, my dreams
Luckily, I catch what I love
even if it's broken at its seams

Who would've thought I'd pen poems
Instead of counting sheep
Maybe I discovered these gems
At 12:55am, because I can't sleep

I don't even know what I'm writing about at this point. God, I need to finish this for you. God I need to write this for you. This... paper... and that... story...

Whichever.
Whatever.

For you.
(And also to save myself.) (CAs, or my own projects... I need to write them both.)

<3, Georgia

My mum thinks I'm slacking off

2010-05-06T22:04:00.001+08:00

... when I watch TV. Or shows. On the internet.

Continuously.

I mean, it's not my fault that I want to watch so much TV. And I'm in DTVM. What do you expect? Huh? Textbooks on TV Shows? Instead of actually watching them?

Anyway, I admit, some of it I just want to watch. But you know. Stella tells us to do beats for the stories/episodes we like. And I am. Doing that.

So there.

I am NOT slacking off, you 'dum-dum'.

:P

Tee hee.

Just being a normal DTVM DARLING.

Things are so... different

2010-04-29T22:43:00.000+08:00

I swear.

When I read back to first year... there was this buzz of excitement that floated around me.

Now it's dead.

Breaking Glass

2010-04-28T22:06:00.000+08:00

Lately I've been...

tired.

But then again, when am I not tired? When will I ever be not tired?

I'm tired, not physically (not really, anyway), not mentally (at least, not till I have to write), but... I don't want to say I'm tired emotionally. Because I just. feel. nothing.

Or I feel sad.

Either way, it's like that.

As if I've gone back in time.

As if I turned 16 again.

As if...

it doesn't matter. Not really, anyway.

In less than 2 years I'm going to graduate. That's sad too. Right?

But I've to move on.

None of this moping around.

None of this can really bring me down.

I don't care if I feel like crap... it's not true. I don't. I mustn't. I can't.

And if friendship is fragile... well, that's sad right?

But everything can break.

Everything.

Okay I've sent my article.

2010-04-16T23:49:00.000+08:00

But that doesn't change the fact that I'm such a horrible person who didn't send her article until like what? The week before school reopens?

As an ex-Publication and Photography Club Editoral Member I am ashamed and sorry.

Sorry Ms Gamar.

Sorry Ms Tahiya.

I feel like I'd let loads of people down.

I so need to stop looking at my Behind the Scenes Article

2010-04-16T23:01:00.000+08:00

...and email it to Ms Gamar.

It's 6 weeks due!!! I AM HORRIBLE!

And it's not that I don't have it done, no, I'm looking at it for like the thousandth time! (Okay maybe not that much, but still.)

I don't care, Georgia. YOU ARE SENDING THAT ARTICLE BY 5pm, 17 April 2010, same time as the SP Go Green one you're doing on City Square Mall, you hear me? Hmm?

Ugh I am so disappointed in myself.

There's this new Channel 8 show...

2010-04-16T22:56:00.000+08:00

红白喜事 (New Beginnings is the English Title).

Well, the trailers looked interesting. I mean, dead people and weddings! Who could resist?

And so far, it's okay. [Besides, I've liked Jeanette Aw since I was... what, 12? So I'm a little biased. (Though I didn't catch Together. Too long and draggy.)]

But the Scene Photos on the Mediacorp official website for the show clearly shows that Elvin's character will end up with Jeannette's character, and Tay Ping Hui's character will end up with Jesseca's (If that's how you spell her name...) character!

And I can't help feeling a little disappointed. It would have been interesting to see Tay Ping Hui's character and Jeannette Aw's character together, and one of the trailers made me think it was going to go that way... was I wrong?

I guess I just have to wait and see.

Anyone else feel the same way?

GEMS of my life

2010-04-09T23:36:00.002+08:00

"What to do? What to do?" I ask myself.

I mean, look at the number of GEMS (and by GEMS I mean the 'General Elective Modules' of Singapore Poly) there are to choose from!

I narrowed it down a little. This semester, I'm taking business.

Out of the three sub-categories (Arts and Humanities, Science and Technology, Business and Management), I have to say Business wins as being the one I really don't want to take. Or is that Science?

Ah well, either way, I still have to take them because I already took my darling Photography for GEMS last semester.

I'm thinking Etiquette and Professional Image for this semester. Or maybe Personal Financial Planning. Haha. But that's a BIG maybe. I don't feel like doing anything with numbers. (That means no Understanding Economics with Mathematics for me.)

***

Speaking of the new semester, Freshman Orientation Camp just happened from the 5th to the 7th of April. And I am STILL dead beat. (Not to mention Freshman Orientation Programme next week. Thankfully I'm only helping out for 2 days.)

Which makes me wonder what the heck am I doing awake at this point of time, and of all the things I could do (like do research for my 3 articles or start with Saving Greywind) I'm actually blogging.

But this camp makes me feel SO OLD!!! Like One Year just whooshed by without me noticing.

I don't want to leave DTVM. :(

On a lighter note, I told Ms Gamar in an outburst yesterday (Elly was there too)... "Are there any hot christian guys? I want." Oh my gosh I feel like a vulture preying on fresh meat.

*Note that I'm not actually a vulture preying on fresh meat because I know God knows what's best for me. :D

The Boyfriend List

2010-03-13T22:20:00.000+08:00

(No, I do not have an actual list.)

Just wanted to say... there's no point in liking someone who doesn't like you back because you end up torturing yourself!

Logic helps overcome matters of the heart. :D Thank you, Logic. (And God. :D)

***

On a side note, why does it seem weird between a friend and I?

There are long pauses in conversations we have... and seemingly nothing much to say.

Have I been telling too much?

Or is it because there's something happening below the surface?

Maybe I can't see the crack in the glass because it's too thin, but it's still there.

Maybe the flower doesn't look like it's going to bloom, but it's growing.

I can't say much about it online, nor to anyone else, so I'm speaking in codes.

I wonder if...

but that's probably me and my mind again.

***

Still not going to learn cycling. (Get me a bf first, Jia Yin! :P)

I refuse to learn how to cycle!

2010-03-13T22:00:00.000+08:00

Since I was a little girl I wanted my boyfriend to teach me how to cycle (because my dad refused to) so I don't wanna learn!!!

I know, it's a stupid dream that makes no sense... but it means a lot to me.

I guess it's something I cling on to... a promise I made myself, somehow?

I'm going to walk while you all cycle. :P

Picture taken from here.

I just can't forsake it.

I think Melanie hates me.

2010-03-05T00:20:00.000+08:00

Yep.

She hates me.

Because I haven't been telling her story. (My heart's at Arianna's.)\

I'm sorry, Melanie. I swear I will try to think out your plot through and through so that I won't be stuck here.

In the meantime, people who don't know what I'm talking about, go to this site. Go on. Melanie dares you to.

Not You

2010-03-04T22:53:00.001+08:00

S.H.E -沿海公路的出口

用一根火柴烧一场蜃楼
借这场大雨让自己逃走
荒茫公路无人的漂泊
寂寞海啸把我卷走

用一段感情换一个朋友
每一句再见割一道伤口
躲在万劫不复的街头
微笑参透覆水难收

倘若说放一次手
就像咳一个嗽
我又何苦在乎得不到的温柔

我坐在公路的出口
等待天黑以后无边的寂寞
连想你都是种残酷切磋

我目送沿海的日落
紧抱一个醉生梦死的枕头
游不出回忆却学不会放手
怎么走

倘若说放一次手
就像咳一个嗽
我又何苦在乎得不到的温柔

我坐在公路的出口
等待天黑以后无边的寂寞
连想你都是种残酷切磋

我目送沿海的日落
紧抱一个醉生梦死的枕头
游不出回忆却学不会放手
怎么走

我坐在公路的出口
等待天黑以后无边的寂寞
连想你都是种残酷切磋

我目送沿海的日落
紧抱一个醉生梦死的枕头
游不出回忆却学不会放手
怎么走

The lyrics are adapted from this winning (first prize) entry from a Song Writing Contest.. and the original version of the lyrics are here.

Don't be stupid, Georgia. Don't you dare do this to yourself. You better stop.

Because even thinking about it is making you hurt.

So there is no point.

None.

Then don't.

Move on.

There will be someone at the end of this road, waiting... all you have to do is move on.

(Go on, I'm right behind you. Don't waste your time on something fruitless.)

조지아, 아자요! 화이팅!

왜냐하면 당신은 날 사랑하지 않아요 내가 당신을 사랑하지 않습니다.

My hard disk! D:

2010-02-26T08:41:00.000+08:00

See. This is called STUPID.

I didn't back up my Semester One notes and now that my backup is gone, my Sem One notes are gone too. I don't really mind about the other stuff, it's just this thing that's been bothering me. I mean, it's my notes! That I took down! IT'S NOT FAIR. (In Stella's Class I had notes. In Gamar's Class I had notes. Heck, even in Mr Tan's Class I had notes.)

The best part is... I didn't spoil my hard drive. I didn't drop it on the ground. I just left it in the cupboard for two days of my CNY life and TADA you see what happened? MY SEM ONE NOTES ARE GONE. G.O.N.E.

And I thought I saved it in some thumbdrive of mine, but apparently, I didn't save it at all! Stupid Georgia trying to be smart. I checked all of my thumbdrives! Even the one with the plumbbob from Sims 3. And Nada! Nothing! Oppso! Mei You!

I don't understand how this can happen. UGH.

(Yes I know I am ranting about my hard drive again.)

So many things happened

2010-02-21T18:56:00.000+08:00

...but I haven't blogged about them yet.

Like how I managed to finish a entire talkshow and voiceover script not to mention finish editing the VPPP CA10 video in a day (with Rafiq's help of course. And Joan and Luke.).

And how I got a job with the school library basically doing the things I did in Secondary School as a school librarian...0

Oh, and how I have to plan in order to set up the Writer's Circle. (Wait that hasn't happened yet. But it will. Soon.)

OH, and how my external hard drive completely DIED on me!!! (My Sem One notes! My videos! SAVING GREYWIND~~~!!!) [Please let my stuff be recovered!!!]

Jet says that he can help me take a look at it though. (Jet's my neighbour.) And I'm going to learn how to rollerblade on Friday... He's going to mentor me. Not looking forward to falling down. (AHH.)

And I still have my VPPP reflection and my CMM paper to write.

Oh the trauma!

2010-02-05T22:28:00.000+08:00

To: FINE FOR THE SAKE OF PRIVACY I WILL NOT REVEAL HER EMAIL@hotmail.com
Start Time: PM 10:06:46; End Time: PM 10:09:56
Georgia says: (PM 10:06:54)
Hello who is this?

FINE FOR THE SAKE OF PRIVACY I WILL NOT REVEAL HER EMAIL@hotmail.com says: (PM 10:07:10)
hey

Georgia says: (PM 10:07:21)
Yes hi. We established that.

FINE FOR THE SAKE OF PRIVACY I WILL NOT REVEAL HER EMAIL@hotmail.com says: (PM 10:07:35)
i'm 21/f your a male right?

FINE FOR THE SAKE OF PRIVACY I WILL NOT REVEAL HER EMAIL@hotmail.com says: (PM 10:07:35)
i'm 21/f your a male right?

Georgia says: (PM 10:07:44)
................

Georgia says: (PM 10:07:54)
No darling.

FINE FOR THE SAKE OF PRIVACY I WILL NOT REVEAL HER EMAIL@hotmail.com says: (PM 10:07:57)
I know a way we can chat and have a better time.. do you cam?

Georgia says: (PM 10:08:19)
I know a way you can have a better time.

Georgia says: (PM 10:08:25)
Off my list of friends.

Georgia says: (PM 10:08:28)
Have fun.

FINE FOR THE SAKE OF PRIVACY I WILL NOT REVEAL HER EMAIL@hotmail.com says: (PM 10:08:32)
Well i don't do yahoo cam or any other cam because i have been recorded before... But i do know one site you can watch me on cam, that assures me no one records...

Daryl says it's a bot... which is a computer generated program. Oh gosh this is so stupid. Do people actually fall for this???

On writing, my love.

2010-02-04T18:47:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired of writing.

I can't believe that I just typed that and yes, it's an irony that I am 'writing' now technically, but really.

I'm so tired of writing.

Because... writing...

as much as I love it...

is becoming a chore.

Maybe I feel this way because all the CAs are coming and I have to write 1000 word treatments and apparently a talk show script but...

I just can't bring myself to fall in love with it.

I'm waiting for a break, but I know during the break I'll probably get tired of my own writing too. Saving Greywind is not even written yet, and that other book I wrote? That novella? That one is crap. Complete and utter CRAP.

Maybe I'm too hard on myself, maybe I want to have perfection but.. 'you can't always get what you want', maybe I feel like I'm not doing enough... maybe I'm not making sense.

But I want to find my passion back again. Go back to when I used to write everywhere... when I wrote for the sake of my soul... when I wrote, because I loved it.

Not this. Not trying to make myself write a book when I am tired... when it's to prove that I can still write. Not this.

Definitely not this.

What am I doing?

Writing, my love, come back. Please.

Sleep

2010-02-02T01:16:00.000+08:00

Daryl and I were just talking online, trying to do our work but in the end we just talked about nonsensical logical things. (See I make no sense.)

http://users.elite.net/runner/jennifers/gnight.htm

I like this site!!! (Thanks Prince Crescendo! :D)

GEORGIAN.

Yes I will go off to bed.

I just don't wanna.

(Gosh no wonder my mum says I sound like a child.)

I need to finish my treatment.

And I don't know how.

I think I may go to school early just to make myself do this.

Sigh.

I am not making coherent sentences.

Okay maybe I am.

Oppareul Saranghae!

SLEEP.

I went to EHarmony.com.

2010-01-24T18:14:00.000+08:00

Just for the fun of it, and to see what's it's about.

But I fall under the 20% category who can't find a match.

I guess this means my guy's still out there, and he can't be defined by an online profile.

Either that, or my expectations are sky/rocket/space high.

My Promise

2010-01-16T21:35:00.000+08:00

Arianna, do you think your story should be written in third person? Actually if you weigh the pros and cons I can tell the story better in third person. It’s just that… I don’t like third person much. And I can’t think of a way to start. I know I should just start typing, but… nothing, and I mean nothing, is coming out.

Arianna Rainford… Michael Rainford. I can’t even show that you’re Korean/Chinese, Arianna. And you are. You have black hair and black eyes. And you live in a world where everything is ruined, and nothing is new. Everything looks ancient. Barely anyone civilised is around. You grew up with Michael, who at a young age had to be a parent to you because your parents weren’t around, and his had disappeared too. You live in a world where it’s smoky, and everything is burning around you, in a world where it’s difficult to find food, because the shelves are either empty, or the forests are void of life.

Arianna, I don’t know how to write your world, honestly. Even though I really, really want to, I’m better at Chick Lit. I could make this into one, but really it suits a more serious tone. But I don’t like serious stuff.

Maybe I should develop your world more, know it inside out, before I try my hand at writing it.

Essentially it’s a love story, but it’s also a story about hope, about friendship, about betrayal, about what to do when everything ends.

I know what’s going to happen.

I can see Greywind, Arcan, in my mind. Greywind is like a fortress. Arcan is a isolated island. The country of Arcan, the city – no, institution – of Greywind.

That’s it. I’m going to draw out a arc and fill it in. Arianna your story WILL be written, and in 100000 words, no less.

I’m going to change the face of Singapore Literature, and prove that Science Fiction can be written too, by someone like me. And because your world is in ruins, it won’t matter about the place you’re at. I imagine that Arcan is near England, but you are near Singapore, in the forests of Indonesia/Malaysia.

Most likely Malaysia, because you travelled across the causeway…

You know what, I don’t care. I AM going to write it. I AM. I WILL. I MUST. I promise. Yakseokaeyo! 옉석해요!

My Answer

2010-01-13T22:05:00.001+08:00

Asy ' Ari said...

May I asked,like how did you do your portfolio for dtvm? issit stories,or scripts? Like how many of them stories or scripts should I include? I really2 want this course! And how did the interview went? Issit a fun course? Should my stories or scripts be long pages or issit up to me?

SUNDAY, JANUARY 10, 2010 6:26:00 PM

My answer (that strangely I can't post down in the comments anyway. After I wrote this then I could post it, LOL):

Hi! :D

I kind of put in everything I could dig up... my writings (like that book I wrote that is now stashed at the very, very back of my 'edit' pile. Haha. And random short stories I write when I'm bored), of course, but also my photos (well, 4), my blog posts (1 or 2), my compositions, some Fan Videos I made and posted on Youtube...... anything really!

Dump any thing you can find that can showcase your creativity and talent in writing and so much more! Be sure it fulfills the 'CREATIVE' aspect! :D

My interview was quite okay. The lecturers were friendly though I advise not believe Mr Tan when he says, "Call me 'Fred'." Haha! :P

I stumbled a little while telling them about myself, as I recall (but my memory isn't that great, so maybe I'm wrong)... and we laughed quite a bit (about something I cannot remember) but the vibe was great.

I think now's the time (if you're in the JAE period, of course) to put in whatever you've already done, and not try to create perfect works.

So if you have long scripts, by all means, put it in! If you don't, don't worry. Remember, we're not looking for perfection, we're looking for PASSION.

Put DTVM as your first choice in both JAE (Joint Admissions Exercise) and JPSAE (Joint Poly Special Admissions Exercise) so that you can be interviewed... or something. Just put it first to be safe. (I was told that this year.)

I didn't do JPSAE (I didn't know :( ), I kind of appealed and begged my way through. That's BAD, because you can't eat and sleep well till you get your result, and that's when everyone's already paying their first semester's school fees and registering in their Polys!

So don't do that. Be smart, do JPSAE.

And darling, of course our course is FUN. Think of it this way. It's somewhere where you have like-minded people gathering, where everyone shares the same passion, and where we still are different in out own way, yet we still belong.

There's loads of stuff we did just in our first (pioneer) year, like meeting Mark Waid, a comic book writer, and the director of 'The Blue Mansion', and attending the 1 year countdown to the Youth Olympic Games.

We do writing exercises in class, watch shows like CSI and break it down, learn how to create epic stories and characters, rewrote Cinderella, and now we're doing our own video IDs (10 - 15 seconds) on 'The Spirit of Youth', and writing our own concepts for entertainment programmes.

This is such a long comment that I think I will copy and paste into a actual post.

Good luck for your interview! I hope to see you come April! :)

God bless.

Georgia.

DTVM 2010

2010-01-06T22:19:00.000+08:00

Our DTVM Video - 2010 is out! (Not surprisingly, since tomorrow's the start of our Open House. Actually, it's the start of everyone's Open House for Polytechnics around Singapore. But yeah.)

I don't get why only 3 days are allocated for our poor Polys, all at the same time... If I were a O-level student, I want one day for 1 Poly!

Consider my options and everything, right?

Tomorrow's going to be a blast. I'm going to bring Viv around, and people are coming to visit my booth. :D

Yay to DTVM!

Now, now, people who are awaiting your results. My recommendation is to do a portfolio for JPSAE! So if JAE fails you, you have a backup plan to get into the course you want. And remember, choose something you absolutely LOVE.

Don't be stupid, like I was, and remember that for Poly, we're looking at L1R2B2!

All the best! Have a blast considering all your options and may your results be above your expectations. :)

Good luck!

Come down for the Open House... I promise not to bite. :P

Haha.

Twisted Fairytale

2009-12-28T23:29:00.000+08:00

So maybe, by stroke of fate, you meet the most wonderful guy on Earth.

And maybe, he likes you. Just a little.

But maybe.

He isn't... (isn't what? Human? Alive? Dead? An Angel?)

Gosh.

All the cliches.

It's all been used. Every. Single. One. Of. It.

The best thing is that we all fall for it.

Us girls (and even the boys out there).

We have been sublimely 'programmed' to want a happy ending.

Personally I blame my dad.

He was the one who read to me, who got me started on liking to be read to anyway. (In actual fact I only started really writing in Primary 6, but my aunt tells me that I've wanted to write since I was 7. And I trust my aunt.)

If Papa didn't read to me...

Then I wouldn't read to myself.

And I won't have the pre-concived notion that there is the 'perfect guy' out there. My 'Prince Charming'. The one who will save me from my misery.

But then again the dramas and the movies all put that in my head too.

It's all your fault, Media!

But the thing is...

I like having those thoughts in my head.

My gosh, am I twisted.

The Promise.

2009-12-28T00:13:00.000+08:00

向日葵.

The chinese name for Sunflower holds a lot of meaning to me. It's as if a sunflower is a creature of the light. (Doesn't really sound right, but yeah.)

Sunflower = light.

I just watched 向日葵的约定 an hour ago on Channel U. My expectations weren't let down, but the open ending really, really, really... I mean...

Open Ending = Never going to know what's going to happen.

I have to assume they end up together. Assume that the guy can be the sun for his sunflower.

All in all, it's a sweet movie.

After I watched it I feel sooooo sweet, it's kinda sticky. (Haha. I am being very... (Gosh I hate that word.) lame.)

It's like, "Awwwww." All the way.

But then another thing I felt was that...

"I feel so alone. I'm dreaming of home." (I watched 'Merry Christmas' [French Movie]. Another sweet movie.)

Alone.

Me against the world.

Again. I'm feeling this again.

It's really starting to annoy me that I feel so...

I feel so...

well, so...

MOODY.

Moody! About being alone!

And what happened to 'loving myself'?

I'm such a contradiction.

And I have 9 ideas to come up with and it's my fault for procrastinating. Again.

Sometimes I really wonder.

A person like me.

I don't deserve this 'love' that people hype up. Because I NEED things. And I need it in the way I capitalise it.

I NEED...

Time.
Space.
Love.

I don't want to be alone.

But I doubt.

I doubt.

I'm coming for the ride.

2009-12-23T11:16:00.000+08:00

I saw a post on Le Love and commented the below.

THE POST - TRAPPED INSIDE MY BRAIN
weheartit

I have never tasted love.

I have never been blessed with the true feeling of love. I've always felt like an outcast in that way. Placed beside the world of loving individuals. Like it's not meant for me. You see, I'm a dreamer. And in my dreams I'm head over hills in love and it's mutual. Unfortunately, this makes me an observer. I observe everything and everyone around me, and the importance of my own actions fails. It's like I'm trapped inside my brain and completely unable to... do life. I think I'm in love with the thought of being in love, how cliché it may sound. And I don't want to wait forever. Maybe I'm just gonna have to accept it. Maybe there is this insignificant number of all the billion people on earth, who just aren't supposed to fall in love...

/L

MY COMMENT
I asked my friend this question just two days ago.
I said, "Do you think it's possible to lie to myself about not liking a person or about liking someone?"

He thought it was possible.

I liked this guy, see. Or at least, I thought I liked the guy. But I realised something yesterday.

I wasn't in love with him. I was in love with the idea of loving him.

Then I came home, switched on my MacBook, and I saw this.

Bang! It was exactly what I had been thinking, all along.

Thank you, because I'm not the only one I don't feel so lonely anymore. I'm surprised at the number of comments.

I'm in love with the idea of being in love, and that makes me laugh.

Because one day, I believe, that idea would be replaced by reality.

:) Just how long I'll have to wait till that day comes, I don't know.

I don't mind it as much anymore. I'll just go along for the ride. It'll be fun.

Blank words

2009-12-20T21:13:00.000+08:00

These days when I look at a blank screen, I don't really feel the urge to fill it up with every word of my own. My stories are short, my blog posts even shorter.

My words... (those spoken, mind you) one or two, peppered with a few sentences here and there.

I'm sitting in my living room, in front of Macky's screen, trying to squeeze words out of me. Today, I will write a blog post of an acceptable length.

These days I need to make an effort to say something to people around me. I just have nothing much to tell. Stories have been told time and time again. It's not nice to tell the same old thing over again.

Nothing much happens.

After typing the above about 3 hours earlier, then getting distracted by dinner, I have concluded that I am seeking adventure.

Anyone who has an adventure, tell me. As long as I don't have to scale a mountain or a building, or die, I'd do it.

Gosh I don't know what I am doing.

FICTION: I just felt like writing today.

2009-12-16T20:11:00.001+08:00

I don't know if this is right, forcing myself not to feel hate, to feel disgust, to even feel a tinge of despair.

Surely I'm right. I am not made to feel things like this. God knows me; he made me. He knows that these dark days are not what I crave for.

Yet, the more time I spend on the dirt, the more I feel pain.

This must be how the humans feel after a while.

Empty.

Like nothing really mattered.

I do not know how they do it, how they managed to stay sane. There's so much hurt on the soils of the land that even the Lord above knows that it is beyond repair.

For it is the last days these humans live, and they have already passed the point of no return.

Those who knew long ago, have already left, their feet far from the ground. Gravity does nothing to them, for they are no longer a part of this world. Those humans are safe.

But not the one I care about.

She knows, but she had chosen to stay, to be the beacon of light during the dark days. Her Father above is pleased with her, but she isn't safe from what is to come.

I know what would befall her, and I couldn't let anything happen to her.

So I had sought a way out of Heaven's Gates, and flown straight towards her. I had been hiding from her, my feet firmly in this depressing ground, always watching.

The Lord knows of what I have done, but he knows that I wouldn't be able to let go if I hadn't gone.

I don't know if I ever will, now that I see her before me, alive and breathing.

I wrote that in here, but at first I didn't want to post it. I don't think it's too religious... at least I hope people won't make rough comments of it being religious.

No, the real reason why I didn't really want to share was because...

I was finally feeling attachment to something I wrote.

Finally.

Hope is the Thing With Feathers - Emily Dickinson

2009-12-10T18:09:00.006+08:00

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

What have I been doing, hiding in my little hole?

2009-12-08T02:00:00.002+08:00

Seriously, Georgia.

OPEN YOUR EYES. You're not the only one on Earth, alright!

How could you not call and ask if everything's alright? How could you not check in on your friend?

It's your oldest friend (excluding one) you're talking about, not someone you just met the other day.

Shouldn't you have checked up on this friend of yours once in a while, or at least read about the thoughts this friend of yours have?

So many things happened. I wasn't there.

What kind of friend am I?

I'm sorry, my dear. I'm sorry. I should have been there for you.

I didn't go get the leggings.

2009-12-02T15:40:00.001+08:00

I didn't want to go to Chinatown now.

So I'm at... Farrer Park. Some new huge shopping centre, having English Breakfast Tea.

My gosh this place has sooooo little people, I'm happy. Crowded places get me all 'ugh'.
It's stressful to squeeze in the crowd. I feel like going exploring as soon as I'm done with my tea, but dear Macky here weighs like a huge rock I could have stolen from the river.

It feels very seclusive, doing this. Haven't done this in a while.

I hope I get to intern.

Wait. When's the CA where we have to do a video?

Oh. Week 13. Not that bad then.

OH GOSH. 'Entertainment Programmes' and 'Conceptualisation and Structure' is Week 12.

Week 13 - 14 is IDEA. I think we're pitching for CMM on the 13th week.

Okay now I am stressed. Shoot.

Realisation Struck.

2009-12-01T10:05:00.000+08:00

I don't know them anymore.

It's sad, but true. What they're experiencing now, what they care about most now... I can only get but a little glimpse through their blogs, and even then the crypticness tells me I know nothing.

Just as they know nothing.

Nothing except for the words I type. Nothing except for what I say occasionally.

We have all moved to different lives. Once we were on the same track. Now, that track is far behind.

I know nothing.

And that is what hurts me most.

Because at least if I knew something, I would be able to help. With nothing... there is no way.

Dear Dawn, whom I have not been writing about ever, agrees with what I'm saying.

It seems that after you graduate, all that is left is just the memories, and that old road and the new track we're running on.

What choice do we have but to do that?

We have to run, onward, forward... to the future.

To confirm Serenade.

2009-12-01T09:58:00.002+08:00

Yes, darling. I can cosplay. As long as I earn my own money. :D

Princess Serenade tells me she is ecstatic to hear the news.

I have to have you spend more time with me and giving me hugs. :D

2009-12-01T09:39:00.000+08:00

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Languages are probably Quality Time and Physical Touch

My Detailed Results:
Quality Time:	10
Physical Touch:	10
Acts of Service:	6
Words of Affirmation:	3
Receiving Gifts:	1

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.
Tag 3 people so they can find out what their love language is.

Take the Quiz!
Check out the Book

For Princess Serenade of Baroque

2009-11-28T16:42:00.002+08:00

I am writing from an era long after your time, and from a place you never would have dreamed of. My name is Georgia, and as your humble subject from long after you have lived in glory I must inform you of the impending danger I (and essentially, Your Highness) face in this time of doom.

Your Highness, I had chosen to give you the highest degree of respect one could give to a royalty who doesn't actually exist. 'Cosplay' is the key word, one I would never be able to fulfill, if this continues on.

I'd continue praying that I'll be able to give you the honour, but in the event your subject isn't able to do so, I hope this letter would help tie up the knots.

I heard that Baroque was abuzz with the excitement, but once this letter reaches Your Highness, I'm afraid the kingdom would halt its festivities.

I offer my deepest apologies, Your Highness, and hope you'll find it in your heart not to blame your subject.

I wish Your Highnesses the greatest happiness you can find.

With regards,
Georgia Ho
November 28 2009, 4.52PM

I am so stuck.

2009-11-12T23:47:00.000+08:00

Stuck for Arianna, because third person's HARD.
Stuck for Melanie, because I have no idea how to go on.
Stuck for Dawn, because I just hate Dawn's story. It's too much.

SO STUCK.

So irritating.

My aunt's finally home.

2009-11-04T19:39:00.000+08:00

It's awesome. I went to Holland V for lunch with her. She didn't change at all.

She told me loads of stories, but it doesn't work well on the screen. Too tired to repurpose. :D

I created a Tumblr.

2009-10-27T03:33:00.000+08:00

And right now, I don't really know why on earth did I do such a thing at 3.33am. Not really at 3.33am, of course, a few minutes before I glanced up at the time bar of my dear Macky.

I actually find it kind of funny right now that I am refusing to get some shut eye.

WO BU YAO SHUI JIAO.

Back to school!

2009-10-24T11:10:00.000+08:00

After 6 torturous weeks of 'nothing-to-do-ness', I am proud to announce my advancement to the Official 2nd Semester of my 3 years at Singapore Poly, doing my favourite course in the world, Creative Writing for TV and New Media.

At this moment, I was supposed to be in a Writing Workshop organised by Monsters under the Bed, but it got cancelled. :(

But no worries, the nice lady said that she would figure out my refunds and I would get my money back.

I'm really tempted to keep the money, rather than give it back to Papa, but I'll be a good girl.

I'm going to attend the free events commencing in about half an hour, and I'm tempted to go for the Mark Waid event at 12.30pm too, even though he's coming for our 'Behind the Scenes' event two days later.

This week had been really fun, especially the half an hour 'lecture' we had for my GEMS, 'The Revealing Eye in Digital Photography'.

GEMS is an extra module we take in SP, that thankfully doesn't affect our GPA.

I actually don't know if the event is commencing now. It's about something about women being scorned.

I think it would be interesting to see what they had to say, although the cancellation of the workshop is quite a disappointment.

The cups on the buffet table are really a huge temptation because I'm so thirsty, and I didn't bring my water bottle. And I've no money.

Except for $2. Which is pathetic.

I wish I could have some of the drink in there. The feel of the cool liquid down my throat would be enough to quench this thirst of mine.

Those 8am days.

2009-10-09T10:44:00.001+08:00

WHY are the days on Wednesday AND Friday??? I don't want to stay in school and wait for time to pass. :(

And that is all that I shall say about the new timetable.

The early 8am days also includes Thursday, but it's okay. Thursday doesn't matter because I (most probably) don't need to stay in school or go somewhere near school after school in the evening.

Oh wait.

Thursday does matter. What if I can't wake up because I come home late from teaching the kids and I ARRIVE LATE FOR SCHOOL???

Now I shall stop.

Why do people have nightmares?

(I know. This is like, "Woah, random," but I've a reason. just you wait.)

I've been having nightmares for the past week or so. It's really scary because it isn't monsters chasing after you and you getting eaten by a gigantic fish, it's something that matters to me a lot.

At first everything starts off well and you think, "Oh gosh, is this really happening?' (Of course I don't know it's a dream when I'm dreaming, so I really think it's real.)

Then...

the good things turn into bad things and worse things and...

you can't solve the problem.

Sometimes I wake up at the good part, thinking, "Why couldn't that happen to me in real life?"

Other times, I wish I hadn't slept.

Why do we dream? What does it do?

When you write 9.9 times out of 10 you cannot use 'dreams' as a way to end the story.

It isn't even good writing material (ignoring the fact that Stephanie Meyer wrote 'Twilight' because she dreamt it).

All these dreams (and I mean the you go to bed and sleep kind) only succeed in making me insomniac.

Fame - I'm gonna live forever...

2009-09-25T11:19:00.000+08:00

I decided I will go to Downtown East on my own and watch this movie because I can't wait anymore! The music is repeating in my head so many times that my anticipation is growing by the second!

Fame!
I'm gonna live forever!
I'm gonna learn how to fly
high!

:D

Let me go on like a 5 year old about how I can't wait.

I can't wait.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.
Oh boy.

Oh boy.

You know, the best thing about 'Blood Ties' is...

2009-09-21T13:29:00.000+08:00

I can't even watch it. It's M18. I was SO INTRIGUED by the first 7 minutes of the movie. I really, really wanted to support the movie like the director kindly asked us to.

But really, it's too ironic.

We're all underage, people. UNDERAGE. (Except for Daryl and Jared and Melody.... bleh. BUT I AM 17. IT'S NOT FAIR.)

You might have been cute.

2009-09-20T17:49:00.000+08:00

And I might have wanted to discreetly take a picture of you because you're cute.

But that doesn't mean I'm going to post it on Stomp and there's no need to call me a female dog SO DISCREETLY in chinese.

I didn't even take a stupid picture because I thought, "Hell, that's stupid."

All I did was point my camera at my feet. I took a picture OF MY FEET.

So there's no need to have your friends gang up on me.

And call me bitch.

Dang.

DANG.

God, that was stupid, wasn't it?

Never am I thinking anyone is cute anymore on the MRT. ARGH.

Doodles

2009-09-20T11:21:00.003+08:00

Quizzes Girls Games

Yes I am updating.

2009-09-14T23:32:00.001+08:00

Yes, people, I am finally updating Melanie's blog.

It's short little updates... and to be honest, I really, really, really, really don't know how to continue. Hopefully tomorrow's workshop'll help.

Okay. Nights!

I know, I didn't sleep.

2009-09-13T03:38:00.000+08:00

I was up doing this.

I know it isn't the best skin EVER, but it's personalised to Georgia. If that even made any sense.

I think I'll switch the background colour to white.

What do you think?

Big 45 Results

2009-09-11T13:22:00.003+08:00

Advanced Big 45 Personality Test Results

Gregariousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Sociability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Assertiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Poise	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Leadership	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Provocativeness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Self-Disclosure	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Talkativeness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Group Attachment	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Extroversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	64%
Understanding	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Warmth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Morality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Pleasantness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%
Empathy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Cooperation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Sympathy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Tenderness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Nurturance	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	79%
Conscientiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Efficiency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Dutifulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Purposefulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Organization	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Rationality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Planning	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Happiness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Moderation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Toughness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Impulse Control	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Imperturbability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	22%
Cool-headedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Tranquility	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Intellect	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Ingenuity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Reflection	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Competence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Quickness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Introspection	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Creativity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Imagination	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Depth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Openmindedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%

Take Free Advanced Big 45 Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Factor		low score	high score
Gregariousness	66%	quiet, reclusive	engaging, socially bold
Sociability	70%	withdrawn, hidden	warm, open, inviting
Assertiveness	66%	timid, gunshy	controlling, aggressive
Poise	66%	uneasy around others	socially comfortable
Leadership	62%	stays in background	prefers to lead
Provocativeness	54%	modest, plays it safe	bold, uninhibited, cocky
Self-Disclosure	74%	private, contained	very open and revealing
Talkativeness	62%	quiet, stealthy, invisible	motor mouth, loud
Group Attachment	62%	loves solitude	prefers to be with others
Understanding	82%	insensitive, schizoid	respectful, sympathetic
Warmth	74%	disinterested in others	supportive, helpful
Morality	78%	break/ignore the rules	play by the rules
Pleasantness	86%	aloof or disagreeable	gets along with others
Empathy	82%	out of tune w/ others	in tune with others
Cooperation	78%	competitive, warlike	agreeable, peaceful
Sympathy	82%	socially inconsiderate	socially conscious
Tenderness	82%	cold hearted, selfish	warm hearted, selfless
Nurturance	70%	self pleasing, me first	people pleasing, me last
Conscientiousness	62%	reckless, unscheduled	careful, planner
Efficiency	62%	unreliable, lazy	finisher, follows through
Dutifulness	74%	leisurely, derelict	strict, rule abiding
Purposefulness	58%	inattentive, undisciplined	prepared, focused
Organization	74%	relaxed, oblivious	detail oriented, anal
Cautiousness	42%	impulsive, spendthrift	restrained, cautious
Rationality	54%	irrational, random	direct, logical
Perfectionism	70%	careless, error prone	detail obsessed
Planning	50%	*disorganized, random*	*scheduled, clean*
Stability	42%	easily frustrated	calm, cool, unphased
Happiness	54%	unhappy, dissatisfied	self content, positive
Calmness	66%	touchy, volatile	even tempered, tolerant
Moderation	42%	needs instant gratification	easily delays gratification
Toughness	58%	hypersensitive, moody	thick skinned
Impulse Control	30%	lacks self control	maintains composure
Imperturbability	22%	highly emotional	emotionally contained
Cool-headedness	42%	demanding, controlling	accommodating
Tranquility	26%	emotionally volatile	emotionally neutral
Intellect	78%	instinctive, non-analytical	intellectual, analytical
Ingenuity	78%	lacks new ideas	innovative, novel
Reflection	78%	unreflective, coarse	art and beauty lover
Competence	78%	slow to understand/think	intellectual, brainy
Quickness	78%	intellectually dependent	intellectually independent
Introspection	74%	not self reflective	self searching
Creativity	66%	dull headed	synthesizer, iconoclast
Imagination	82%	practical, realistic	dreamer, unrealistic
Depth	74%	lacks curiosity	mental explorer

Take Free Advanced Big 45 Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

*Do note that the results are in two extremes. BOLD is what I lean towards, not fully. The extent to which is shown by the percentage.

Let me wake up fresh.

2009-09-11T01:34:00.002+08:00

That is all I wish.

No more madness.

No more tears.

No more trying to make myself feel something, anything and convincing myself I have a huge problem when there is none.

Let me wake up fresh... for the interview.

But more importantly, for myself.

Let this be a brand new start to a brand new me.

Using my phone to blog.

2009-08-30T10:20:00.000+08:00

It's actually kind of cool. Well. Other than the fact that I can't use the toolbar to upload photos, that is. But other than that, this is cool!

나어떻게요?

2009-08-28T06:27:00.005+08:00

이것한국어권리아머라해요.

처는모두머라.

아무도가 이해하는 경우에, 통역은 변환하고다…

다음 이 통역은 저를 위한 그것의 일하고 있다. 적어도, 이를 위해 이개의 문장, 어쨌든.

하지마, 나항상사랑해. 하느님, 왜요?

The translator's messed up.

Oh well. Next time, if I want people to understand what I write, I'll use a dictionary instead.

In the meantime,

tell me.

어떻게?

정말.

괜착아. 나는직짜괙착아요.

DISCLAIMER: KOREAN MAY BE AWFULLY INCORRECT DUE TO... REASONS THAT ARE NOT ABLE TO BE DISCLOSED.

I NEED TO DO THIS.

2009-08-26T03:34:00.001+08:00

I NEED TO DO MY DT.

DO MY DT.

STOP GETTING DISTRACTED, GEORGIA HO.

So this means that if I post on Multiply, it gets posted on Blogger.

2009-08-25T23:09:00.000+08:00

Then it goes to Facebook Notes.

Oh, cool.

Okay. I really need to do my Deconstructing Television.

Creative Story Making (Sem 1, 2009) - CA10 'I Believe Hope is a Vital Aspect of Life.'

2009-08-23T02:47:00.001+08:00

So this is my story for CSM, the decalogue thing. :D

Nowadays when they fight, I try to shut it all out. They’re at it again. Daddy is saying that I should be allowed to keep Teddy with me, while Mummy is saying that I’m too old for Teddy. I’m tempted to go get Teddy, but I don’t dare to step out of the study room.

So I’m sitting at my desk, trying to read my Primary 5B Textbook on Science. But I can’t concentrate on what the textbook says. I can’t even read the words on what condensation is.

Water vapour in the air touches a cool surface and condenses…

“Why can’t I make her grow up?” Mummy is screaming. “She needs to understand how to let go of material stuff like –”

“Erika,” Daddy sigh, “You know that’s not the issue.” There’s a moment of silence. I look back at my textbook but I already lost the line I was reading just now.

“Admit it. You’re jealous,” Daddy tells her.

“Ever since my promotion you’ve been jumpy.” His voice is calm and gentle. Daddy’s the best. He never blows his top.

I can imagine how Mummy would roll her eyes as she says, “Please, don’t flatter yourself.”

But I don’t think I can ever imagine Daddy’s face as he slams the door and storms out of their bedroom. I hear a flurry of footsteps down the stairs of our ‘executive apartment’, and then keys opening the gate.

Then I hear nothing.

I stand up only for a few seconds, when Teddy is flashed in front of me.

My eyes flicker to Mummy’s face. Her nose is red and blotchy, and she looks like a comic book character. If she wasn’t dangling Teddy in front of me with a deadly look I might have found that very funny. But this was Teddy you’re talking about. I can’t live without Teddy.

I don’t care if Mummy says that I need to grow up. She’s the one who started all the shouting anyway. She’s the one who’s ruining all our weekends. My eyes focus on Teddy. I am not looking at Mummy. She caused all this.

“This is going into the rubbish chute,” Mummy states, her tone surprisingly calm.

My eyes flash towards Mummy’s cold, unwavering glare, and I scream, “No!” I try to jump up to snatch Teddy from her hands but she is much too quick for me.

“Mummy! No!” I shriek again. She strides easily out of my study room, putting Teddy into the huge, black plastic bag we were using to clean out my room just now, before Mummy went crazy and started shouting at Daddy again.

I cry, “Why are you doing this to me?”

She ignores me and slams the door hard in my face. The edge of the door cuts my first toe and I cry even louder, “No! Teddy didn’t do anything wrong!”

I don’t know how long passed, but finally Daddy comes home to my rescue. I don’t want to budge from my rocking position but Daddy pulls me up, gives me a hug and tells me to go have my dinner.

I shake my head. Without Teddy, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep. I don’t want to eat.

“Kathy, listen to Daddy. Go and have your dinner. Your mother cooked your favourite fried rice. The one with loads of egg and bak kwa.”

It must be bait. A way to get me on her side. Well, I’m not falling for it. She threw away Teddy. I’ll never forgive her.

Daddy nudges me again, asking me to go down.

When I don’t move, he becomes stern, “Katherine Lin Si Qi. You are going down right now and eating your dinner. Then you’re going to bed.”

Daddy would never be strict with me in the past. Mummy changed Daddy. I know it.

At our dining table, I spoon mouth after mouth of her disgusting fried rice. I swallow it all down. Daddy and Mummy isn’t talking to each other. They aren’t talking to me either.

I can play this game well. But my plate of fried rice is finished, and I have to go to bed before Daddy goes ‘all-stern’ at me again.

I stand up to go, but Mummy calls my name. For a moment I really thought that she was going to apologise, because she looked really apologetic.

But then I look at Daddy, and he looks just as apologetic, if not more than Mummy.

Then I hear her say, “Baby, I’m sorry. We tried hard. But we’re getting a divorce.” Strangely enough, her lips aren’t moving as she says that.

I try to sleep, but my eyes can’t close. It’s like the darkness is some sort of comfort. I remember I used to wedge myself in between Daddy and Mummy when I couldn’t sleep.

Now that can never happen, because they’re not sharing the same bed. Daddy’s taking the guest room downstairs. They’re sleeping alone. I didn’t think they were actually serious.

It used to be that their gazes at each other were so loving, I could puke.

But I saw them at the dining table just now. Their eyes were cold, unfeeling. Maybe if I had been a better girl… maybe they wouldn’t say the ‘D’ word.

I don’t understand. It’s not as if they were old, and are nearing the menopause thing Ms Lim mentioned in class.

They’re only 34. So it can‘t be old people syndrome, or middle-aged crisis. They’ve been so loving all my life. Only last year… Daddy got promoted. It was okay at first. Mummy told Daddy she was happy for him.

But then they started coming home late because Mummy wanted to wait for Daddy after work. And then they started not talking to each other, or even me, much at home.

Then the shouting started.

I cringe, wishing Teddy was still with me. I haven’t slept without him since I was 4.

That’s it. Mummy can’t really throw Teddy away. She knows how much he means to me. I’m going on a search for him. He can’t be far away.

As soon as Mummy and Daddy got out of the house I start my mission. I’m lucky it’s the school holidays and only Siti’s home with me. She’s sweeping the floor now. I ask her to tell me as soon as she sees Teddy.

“Okay Kathy,” she says and goes back to her sweeping.

I wonder if she heard me crying at night yesterday, then shake my head. Nah. She was on her off day yesterday. I think she came back right after the ‘D’ news and cleaned up Mummy’s cooking mess.

So I continue my search. But I looked everywhere and Teddy wasn’t anywhere. I looked in Mummy’s drawers, I looked in Daddy’s cupboards, I even looked below the bathroom sink.

Where is Teddy?

Okay.

Calm down.

Maybe Teddy was downstairs… maybe he’s downstairs right now, at the huge rubbish dump near our block! After all, I don’t know where Mummy went after that right?

Right.

I grab Siti and the keys and pull her to the stinky rubbish dump. It smells awfully sour at the dump. But still I dig through every black plastic bag I see, sifting through all the unwanted junk my neighbours threw away.

Old Barbie dolls, old newspaper cuttings, tin cans that can’t be opened. It’s as if my neighbours had a treasure trove they told no one about.

Some of the things I see aren’t even old and spoiled. There are times I think I spot Teddy, but the furry limb I pull out always belonged to something else.

Once, it’s hair belonging to a doll with brown hair and faded lips, then another, it’s a stuffed puppy with a torn ear.

I even pull out a teddy bear once, but it isn’t Teddy.

After Siti and I search every corner of that rubbish dump, and Teddy isn’t there, I just sit there, on the hard concrete floor, with piles of old toys around me, not moving.

But I’m not about to give up. I stand up, not smelling anything, and go to Siti.

“Let’s go,” I tell her.

We climb the stairs instead of taking the lift and reach level 4 in double the time. I unlock the gates and rush in, kicking my slippers off. Siti tells me she’s making lunch, but I barely hear her voice as I turn on my computer.

I use my phone’s Bluetooth to send my pictures of Teddy to my computer, and start arranging the pictures, making a flyer, a blog post and posting pictures on my Facebook all at once.

The pictures were up in Facebook and soon comments asking me why on Earth am I bothering to find such an old stuffed bear start surfacing. But I ignore the questions, and the weird looks I know they are probably casting at their computer screens.

These people will never know how much Teddy means to me. They’ll never understand why I can’t sleep without him.

Soon the blog post is also posted and my printer starts printing 200 copies of Teddy’s Missing Notices.

It’s not like I need to save paper for both of them anyway. Maybe by the time they’re done with their ‘D’ deed, I won’t even be staying in this place anymore.

I paste those flyers I printed on the walls in my void deck, and give them out to my neighbours. I’ve never even seen some of them before, but they take my flyer all the same, and read it with avid interest.

Of course, some people just crush it and throw it on the floor, as if I were blind. But most of them are intrigued at my persistence to find Teddy. I would be there, without fail, every weekday of my holidays.

Daddy seldom came home nowadays and when Mummy’s home, she spends her time in her bedroom. It’s not that bad, really. I get a lot of freedom from their rein over me. I don’t hear Mummy shouting at Daddy.

I don’t hear anything. It’s great.

But then the school holidays ended, and no one saw Teddy. Everyone had seen me so many times that they don’t even stop to chat like they did anymore.

They walk pass me, as if I were invisible.

And then the day came when I had to go to school.

I know that there’s no way I can ever find Teddy ever again. I must face the facts.

After a whole month of searching, a whole month of standing right outside the lifts, and a whole month of enduring the silence, I know that the only way that Teddy would come back is by some form of a miracle.

“That’s never going to happen,” I tell myself in bated breath, after a long day at school.

I use the keys that I bring with me these days to open the gate, take off my shoes and socks and walked in.

The first thing I see is that Mummy’s on the far end of the sofa. She seems to be holding something distinctively brown, and I hear soft sobs coming from her.

I make my way tentatively towards her, and then my eyes fall on the faux brown fur. But then I see Mummy. She looks haggard and years older than she really is.

“Mummy?” I whisper.

She looks up and stares right into my face. I see her mouth the words of apology I didn’t need anymore. She hugs me tight, and I feel my right sleeve get considerably wetter as she murmurs in my ear.

“Ming kept him. I threw him away but your daddy saved Teddy.”

I nod.

“He kept it with him the whole month. Baby, I’m sorry.”

I didn’t mind anymore, not having the bear with me.

“I should have tried harder.” Mummy whispers.

I feel a hug from behind and I breathe in the scent. It’s Daddy.

I will blog about 'Blood Ties' as soon as my hands are free.

2009-08-23T02:43:00.002+08:00

Go to the website in the meantime and check out the chinese and english songs! Very interesting and beautiful vocals.

Yes I am organising out DTVM outing and YES YOU MUST GO, DTVM.

2009-08-21T11:30:00.002+08:00

See?

Okay. This is the best medium because it'll be on my blog, then it'll be on Facebook, SOOOO yeah.

THIS MUST HAPPEN. (Because I put my mind to it.)

Okay wait. Now I can facebook all of them. Good.

I know I totally said, 'Goodnight,' BUT...

2009-08-16T20:28:00.002+08:00

Sims 3 World Adventures!!!

LOOK AT THIS.

How can I say 'Goodnight' to that?

Okay. It's not out yet. So I can. Haha.

Goodnight.

After 14 days, I am back.

2009-08-16T19:46:00.002+08:00

And yes, I went to watch 'Up' with my classmates, have been kept busy by impending dooms [aka projects (and a test or two)] which aren't done with their torment, and also went to the 1 Year before Youth Olympic Games Countdown with my DTVM people.

And because the pictures aren't doing me a favour, you won't be able to see what happened on Blogger. Not in pictures, anyway. (But I was interviewed so you may have seen me on CNA's news on YOG. Kind of embarrassing really.)

I have created a Hero and a Hero's World, have to start writing down the 2000 words for my belief, and have to start going through my notes for website critique.

But what's on my mind the most is the essay that I'm going to have to write on Tuesday.

I realise my tone is very formal right now - I know because I hear my voice reading out every word I type in my head. It's incessant and very annoying.

Wait.

I just realised that's not what's bugging me the most.

For Visual Communication, we have to think of what represents 'Self Identity' in a story and capture it with running pictures. No dialogue. 2 characters.

Why is it that I keep thinking I'm dead?

I have an idea... I think. I don't know if it'll work. I don't even know if I can ask Mr Tan.

SIGH.

_____________

Today at church we were talking about sin (well, actually, Holiness in Body BUT sin is what obstructs us and all sooooooo yeah) and one of those idiotic things you call sin that I have is self-indulgence.

As in I tend to over think about my problems and make it seem REALLY BIG in my head when it actually isn't. It's annoying, really.

But it goes both ways. I can worry about someone else's problems for a long time...

It seems that only recently I had that problem. Not happening now through.

Not because I'm apathetic towards them as I proudly proclaimed that I wanted to be, but because people have to deal with their own problems. Like I do. They have to grow. Like I try not to.

Growing up will make me lose that 'free child' in me. So if I can 'grow up' without that baggage, it'll be great, thank you very much.

My own so called problems aren't problems at all. This self-indulgence thing should be solved in a jiffy, thank you Father.

The next step is: To continue praying for others and myself.

Goodnight.

I hate people who tear pages out of books.

2009-08-02T21:38:00.003+08:00

The title really said it all.

Seriously, even if you accidentally tore the stupid page of the stupid book, the basic courtesy would be to STICK IT BACK with tape, right?

Now I am stuck with a book with page 205/ 206 MISSING and it's VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION, mind you.

How else am I going to find out HOW the stupid 'Stage 1' of the stupid journey is going to happen? HOW AM I GOING TO CREATE MY HERO? My Hero's JOURNEY?

UGH.

Now I have to go and borrow a new copy of '45 Master Characters' by Victoria Lynn Schmidt and even that can't happen because ALL THE PATHETIC 3 COPIES ARE FREAKING BORROWED!!!

Whoever tore that page and never bothered to stick it back, you need to learn to TAKE CARE of your library book!!!

So that I can read it!

In 19 minutes, I'll be 17.

2009-07-30T23:40:00.003+08:00

I usually count down to all my birthdays.

I forgot whether I did that last year or not, but it doesn't matter now.

Besides, throughout the whole year I have grown. I had forsaken my beliefs last year, but now I can tell you 10 things I believe in, maybe even more.

Granted that's because we have an assignment on that, but still. I 'rekindled', if you will, the old spark in me.

Except now it's glowing so brightly.

Here's my list.

1) I believe that as long as I have faith in God, He will pull me through.

2) I believe that friends are a necessity, not something that can be thrown away.

3) I believe that hope is a vital aspect of life.

4) I believe that sometimes, things won’t go my way. But that’s fine because greater things will fall into place for me.

5) I believe that words are magical tools that help emotions stabilise.

6) I believe that stories tell more than they seem.

7) I believe that chocolates are very good anti-depressants – which is why I obsess over it.

8) I believe that it’s easy to love someone, just difficult to keep on doing so in the right way.

9) I believe that everything is a learning experience.

10) I believe that fairytales do come true.

I didn't believe in the last one last year on my birthday, even though that had been what I'd always believed in.

I believe what I wrote on a piece of paper that day was: "I should have known that fairytales don't come true. Grow up."

But really. I don't think that's very true. What I wrote last year, I mean. Because even when I do 'grow up' - whatever that is - I think I'll always believe in a happy ending.

I guess that links to 'Hope', but yeah.

***

Seph gave me a bear for my birthday. He said I'd been talking about it. But I can't even remember if I ever did mention anything at all! :P

I named the bear 'Emanuel', meaning 'God is with us' or 'me', for that matter.

I wanted something that started with 'M' because all my favourite soft toys' names started with 'M'.

But I couldn't find one that I liked.

Maybe... Mael. Or Maul.

But it's okay, because I'm going to call 'Emanuel' 'Em' for short. And that sounds like 'M'. So I guess it works out. Kinda.

This is Emanuel in bad lighting in my living room.

I'm planning to write all my 'Thank Yous' as soon as I'm done with WMP, and that may take a little while longer.

I don't feel any older or wiser, 4 minute prior to being a 17 year old.

I just feel so relieved that my 16th year is over. Kind of sad because being 16 wasn't really that sweet for most parts.

It improved and everything, but I'm looking forward to the next year.

Maybe I would be... what I need to be.

Because I'm bored stiffed.

2009-07-25T18:00:00.002+08:00

Quizzes Girls Games

You're a popsicle!
On the hottest summer days, you're the one we want around. Your personality is icy cool and packed with the sweet summer innocence of being a kid. Maybe you're like a rocket pop, bursting with summer patriotism like the fireworks on the 4th of July, or maybe you're a tasty block of fruit juice, or an ice cream bar on a stick. Whatever kind of popsicle you are, you're one of the best parts of summer -- even when you get a bit messy. We wish we had a box of you in the freezer right now!

You're just making me hungry, you know.

Quizzes Girls Games

You'll go to hell and back.
When you have a goal, you're set on accomplishing it, no matter how many obstacles block your way. Chances are, you'll encounter a few evil, fire-breathing bosses, coworkers who smell like they bathe in toxic waste (and not even the kind that gives superpowers -- just the kind that makes them reek), and teachers whose idea of encouragement is telling you to "Drop out now, before you fail out." Success might not come easy, but you won't let anyone or anything hold you back. You're clinging to the ladder of success with every ounce of strength, and you are NEVER gonna look back.

Yeah man. Whatever it takes. Except when it's against my morals.

Quizzes Girls Games

The Contender
A wise person once encouraged 'moderation in all things,' and we think you embody that spirit nicely. A bit of competitive edge is necessary sometimes -- it tests our limits and pushes us to improve. But taken to an extreme, a competitive nature can make people seem overly aggressive. You seem to understand that no matter who wins or loses, the important part of any competition is doing your best. And for that, we'd like to hand you a huge, shiny, invisible trophy.

Well, at least it won't spoil my relationship. :P

Quizzes Girls Games

Independent? It Depends.
We can't all be big, stoic, stand-alone statues all the time. You know how the song goes... "We all need somebody to lean on." From what we can tell, it doesn't seem like you're so lean-y that you're knocking people over all the time. Once in a while, you're in the mood for solitude, but the rest of the time, you're a social creature. You don't need other people around to be happy, but you know you're lucky to have a good support system.

See? So me.

Quizzes Girls Games

You're a Forehead Kiss.
You are soothing, supple, and refined, like a kiss that presses gently against someone's forehead and feels as eternal as a promise. Memories of you will linger on long after you're gone. In a world of sloppy wet kisses, you're proof that a kiss doesn't need tongue to be good. A forehead kiss is an intentional, definitive choice, and that matches your personality well -- you know exactly what you want from life. You don't mess around. If you kiss someone, you mean it.

I think this is just so sweet, don't you?

Quizzes Girls Games

Ms. Nantucket
Not everyone can pull off capri pants with tiny lobsters embroidered on them, but Ms. Nantucket has been rocking that style on "the island" every single summer of her life, so she ain't scared. Her sophisticated summer look doesn't really withstand much spontaneous vacation craziness, but she's more than equipped for a romantic walk on the beach with tennis-playing blonde hotties. Especially tennis-playing blonde hotties named Biff.

Ms. Nantucket Style Must-Have: Wedge espadrille sandals that look vintage, but aren't (too smelly).

Oooh! Experimenting!

Quizzes Girls Games

On the inside, you are 12.
Young people are too innocent to know what they want, and old people are too jaded to care, but 12 year olds are right in the middle. Your inner 12 year old knows exactly what he/she wants -- to watch a movie full of fart jokes and people falling down. Leave the boring romantic dramas for somebody else. You might act a bit impulsive and childish at times, but you're also stubborn enough to stand up for yourself. You expect people to treat you with respect, because you know your opinion matters.

I've always known I haven't grown up that much yet. See, in some aspects, I'm mature. In others... you can kick my butt.

Quizzes Girls Games

You're popcorn.
You're salty, buttery, and popular -- the ultimate movie snack. You know how popcorn is made up of lots of little kernels all hanging out together? That's sort of like you and your friends. Going to the movies is always more fun when you're with the whole gang. When you buy tickets as a group, you know you'll end up laughing, shrieking, and "aww"-ing at the screen together. To you guys, a movie's not just a movie -- it's a memorable experience that you've all shared. You are a wacky, bonding, car-pooling bunch, and you WILL find 12 seats together... or the night won't be half as much fun.

Gnawing hunger. Again. Even after I finished my dinner.

Quizzes Girls Games

You're SO girly!
You already knew that, didn't you? This kind of girliness doesn't happen by accident -- it takes lots of effort. You don't mind spending extra time styling your hair or choosing your outfit, because you like to look as pretty as possible whenever you leave the house. You're girly because you love being girly! You go out of your way to emphasize your feminine side. You were born knowing how to walk in heels (but not literally, because that would make you the weirdest baby ever). You'll use any excuse to dress up and look fabulous, whether you're attending a wedding or walking the dog.

I don't like the word 'girly'. It's like 'girly' = 'needy'. Which is so not true.

Quizzes Girls Games

Don't deny it—you love drama.
Other people are looking for ways to keep life relaxed and low-key, but according to your movie collection, you're always looking to add more emotion to your existence. For example, when you fall in love, you expect movie-style romance and grand gestures. If your girl/guy doesn't live up to your cinematic expectations, there's going to be a big, public break-up. There will be crying and shouting and maybe even the ripping-up of love notes in front of an audience. Hey, why should movie stars get all the good scenes? Life can be soap-opera wonderful anytime you want -- especially once you buy your own smoke machine.

Okay, okay. I am melodramatic. I'm trying not to be though.

In the old days I would have screamed. Loudly.

2009-07-25T17:48:00.000+08:00

Quizzes Girls Games

Your fantasy boyfriend is Will Turner from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.
Your fantasy boyfriend doesn't need a fancy title or fancy clothes to impress you. From the first moment you saw Will Turner, you knew he was something special. Will is clever, courageous, and all kinds of cute. He would sail to the ends of the earth to make you happy, but you won't make him go that far alone -- you'd rather be right there by his side. Whether you're running your fingers through his soft curls, or battling evil creatures from the depths of the sea, you and Will make one sexy team.

The only reason why I'm not screaming is because it's not the old days.

Ooh! Hugs all around!

2009-07-25T17:41:00.000+08:00

Quizzes Girls Games

You're not too huggy. You're just right.
Your hugs are warm, encouraging, reassuring, and just right . They're always a comfortable length, because you know when it's time to embrace, and when it's time to let go. Hugs are about bonding and friendliness, but they're also about empathy and connection. You have good hug instincts, so you can usually sense if a hug will lift someone's mood or if they're shying away. You probably seize every hug-portunity when you're hanging out with your huggiest friends, but you'll never force a hug on someone who's not feeling it. No matter where you go, or who you're with, your hugs adapt to the situation. You're so good at hugging, you deserve a prize... or a HUG!

See? Told you hugs are great! :D

A new day.

2009-07-23T14:19:00.002+08:00

Rafiq tells me I need a patient man.

Who is hard to find anyway, so I am DOOMED.

Haha.

I don't know... all I can do is to put my trust in God, and let Him guide me through. Everything.

So I can be One with Him.

All is lost.

2009-07-22T19:44:00.002+08:00

I have lost it. My sanity. I’m not exactly crazy, of course. But I lost my will to be happy. I thought the airport might make me change that but it’s lost.

My calming place is lost to change.

I guess change is something that must come, but why now, when I’ve nowhere to turn to?

I had hoped that a trip here, that the planes might help calm my tense nerves, make me believe that I’m not as disgusting as I am, but it has done nothing but see that I have slipped back into flashbacks and painful memories.

Something inside me seethes this feeling, but it can’t pluck up the courage to pull it away from me, for the evil feeling bound itself onto me and its ropes are spun tighter and tighter each day.

Each day I despise myself more.

This feeling… it’s all because I want to seek attention for myself. That’s the way I see it and I ABHOR that so much because it’s not what God would want, not what I would want, and definitely not what I want my friends and family to experience.

People laugh beside me, but I can’t seem to do so because I HATE THIS.

I hate being a attention seeking moron who wants nothing but to see that others love her when she feels this way because it makes me SICK, all of it. SO SICK.

I don’t need all that to reassure that I am loved. Because I am. WHY can’t I see that I AM???

I just need...

Something...

Which I cannot find at the airport.

(Even the picture refuses to cooperate.)

God, I pray. I pray for calmness.

This is going to be highly philosophical.

2009-07-16T08:08:00.002+08:00

Okay, I know I said 'PHILOSOPHICAL' (you can wave your hands in front of my face now), but really, my philosophy ended last night.

Alas, I had to do my Raffles/Myth. So I can't be 'highly philosophical'!

I can't even BE philosophical.

In about an hour I should have 5 scripts ready to go.

BUT I'M STILL EDITING.

***

It's 8.51am and I'm printing it all out!!!

I checked through the manuscripts 3 times!

That should be enough times, right?

WHY DO WE HAVE TO PRINT 5 COPIES??? I'M RUNNING OUT OF PAPER HERE.

***

Let's see. I was thinking (too much again) and yeah. See my twitter updates? What I was thinking, in real time, real space!

Okay. Got to go print some more papers. Philosophical thinking can wait.